The reality of impostor Syndrome and how to move passed it. Read more
Holding things in does not exercise your strength. Exposing your needs is true exercise because it breaks your pride and makes way for reconstruction. We always build better with more materials. Every time we break down, open up, and rebuild, we are perpetually adding to our knowledge. Chances only stop when we stop allowing ourselves to have them.
If you ever worked in retail or in a smaller office, you know that a Keyholder is someone with big responsibility. They often have great authority as well. They are trusted with the keys to the building and are responsible for opening and closing the store on time to get business going.
Have you ever thought of yourself as a Keyholder? Someone that has great responsibility but also great authority? In relationships, you are always one of the keyholders.
Everyone that has a relationship with you in any capacity has a want and a need for you. Just like the keyholder employee, you have something to bring to the table. You own a little piece of the world, a different perspective, that no one else has. If someone else does have it, not much is more fun than finishing another person’s sentence because you are so in sync.
The problem is some of us have lost this view of ourselves. We have been damaged by our failed relationship attempts or the wrong people writing us off as having nothing to bring to the table. Maybe you never let your true personality shine because of that learned fear of rejection. That was me. I learned over time in healthy relationships though that I was just chasing the wrong people all along. I needed their acceptance to validate my worth as a person. It goes all the way back to having to earn our grace with God. It just doesn’t work that way. Your worth to the right people is invaluable and comes freely. You have this power for those people to unlock doors for them so they can go further, like maybe their own acceptance issues. Those people will want you to go higher with them. Don’t forget that we all have this emptiness that needs to be filled by God and by others. There are people in the world right now that need to be filled by you. That’s what you hold the key to.
How can you start finding those people? Start by allowing yourself to be you. If you are funny, be funny. If you are interested, be interested. If you are deep, be deep. If you are understanding, be understanding. You will never find the right people if you don’t show them who you are. We are all out here looking for others we are compatible with. True personalities are deeply lacking in this world. 1 Peter 3:4 says:
“Adorn the hidden man of the heart and the imperishable beauty that comes from within, a quiet and gentle spirit, which is so pleasing to God.”
When will you be brave enough to be yourself?
When I was a teenager I got quite a few tattoos. Those close to me know I’ve expressed deep regret for that. It’s not just because I have them, but the fact that I abandoned who I was in order to achieve some social status I thought I would gain from. Maybe it was a way to express my imperfections and embrace an “I don’t give a blank” attitude. I thought it would bring some kind of wholeness. But I killed the opportunity for the maturity in me to embrace that in a healthier way. That maturity wasn’t there yet but it was to come. I ended up just discovering what was in me all along.
Have you ever chased something before you thought would make you whole, but in the end you found you wanted even more? Lacked even more? Maybe you found that what you had in the first place was enough after all. This happened since the very beginning.
Genesis 1:28 says people were made to govern the land and take care of creation. A little later on in Genesis 3:23, it says God told Adam to go cultivate the ground from which he came.The beautiful thing about this seemingly identical order from God is what happened in between them. The first order was before the sin of eating from the forbidden tree. The second order was after the sin of eating from the forbidden tree. So Adam and Eve went after what they thought they had to have but in the end were still given the same direction and purpose. We read that they learned to embrace what they had, which for them was each other.
How would you feel to stop chasing this non-existent perfection and spend that energy finding and embracing what is in you?